I woke up the other day and just like what a person addicted to Facebook would do, I checked my account to see if I have new messages or comments etcetera. As expected there was a new comment on one of my pictures (portrait of me with my sleeping baby) which says "Where is DADDY?" my initial reaction was anger because obviously, the person who commented was trying to imply something. Whatever that is, I am certain that it's something too personal and quite offensive. I tried to conceal my annoyance and jokingly answered "Somewhere out there. lol" for I feel that I'm not required to disclose information about my personal life in Facebook, not to mention that this person knows nothing about me. I was deeply offended and I immediately deleted him on my friends list when he answered "Never joke about the daddy! She needs HIM while GROWING!" The nerve.
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| Image courtesy of Wallcoo.net |
After a few hours of contemplating while getting my daily dose of Tom and Jerry (courtesy of Cartoon Network), I have realized that the guy has a point. My daughter needs a dad. I am a semi-single mom since I'm raising my child alone since her dad works overseas. "Semi" because I'm not officially a single mother. Yet. I suck in dealing with LDR (Long Distance Relationship) and God knows how many times I considered breaking up with my boyfriend because I'm kind of getting used to the feeling that he's not here with me. I am responsible with everything as far as my daughter is concerned. Literally. For now, it seems like her dad's task is just to "like" or post comments on Facebook. That's it. I do not mean to whine but I'm just a human being who gets tired too especially when I'm taken for granted. It's tiring to deal with someone with no initiative, no moral support and all. I have confided my situation to a friend and she made me realize that It's somehow my fault because I'm not helping him at all to be responsible because I'm showing him that It's totally fine with me even If I'm technically handling EVERYTHING.
Just recently, I have stopped communicating with him, hoping that with my absence, he will see my worth. I just got fed up being ignored. I am not perfect and I know I have shortcomings too but I DON'T DESERVE TO BE TREATED THIS WAY. I hope I'm not being selfish for choosing to love my self a little bit more. I hope one day, he'll realize that there's someone who will call him "daddy" a few years from now and when that time comes, I hope he has learned to be responsible.
I am not wishing for a good husband at this moment. I am praying hard for my daughter to have the best dad.
